


One of those days

by SelenicSoul83



Series: 12 days of Christmas 2017 [8]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, Platonic Relationships, References to Depression, Sad Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 15:53:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13080234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenicSoul83/pseuds/SelenicSoul83
Summary: When Dan told him he was stepping out for a bit, Phil didn’t ask too many questions; just if Dan wanted him to come along (no) and how long he thought he’d be gone for (maybe forty-five minutes or so).





	One of those days

The slamming door reverberated throughout the whole apartment. Phil had just finished filming a video while Dan was out, and he jumped at the sound.

Clearly Dan had gotten back.

“Sorry about that!” Dan called over, but the tightness of his voice didn’t sit right with Phil. Moments later Dan’s bedroom door shut a little louder than usual as well.

When Dan told him he was stepping out for a bit, Phil didn’t ask too many questions; just if Dan wanted him to come along (no) and how long he thought he’d be gone for (maybe forty-five minutes or so). Phil checked the clock now, seeing that it hadn’t even been half an hour.

Phil stopped outside Dan’s bedroom, fist lifted to knock. He heard the other pacing inside. After taking another deep breath, he let his knuckles rattle down on the door.

No response.

“Dan? Can I come in?”

“I just need a moment,” the other said through the door. “I—” Nothing else came, but Phil heard a heavy sigh. Dan must’ve been standing right beside the door himself.

“Alright. Take your time. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

When Dan didn’t reply, Phil turned to leave, but he caught the soft ‘thanks’ coming from inside.

Earlier in the day Dan had been trying to script a video. Phil figured it wasn’t going the way he wanted, because every couple of minutes he’d hear Dan wandering the apartment before returning to his room. At one point Phil found him sat on his bed, fingers tapping out a steady beat on his knee.

“How’s it coming along?” he’d asked.

“Not.” Dan’s tone was clipped. He scratched at his head, eyes not leaving the laptop screen. He spoke a lot quieter, then: “It’s just… not.”

He’d left the apartment not five minutes later.

Phil thought editing his video would take his mind off things. He had known Dan wasn’t feeling well when he left earlier. It was clear in his bent head and stooped shoulders, the way he wouldn’t look at Phil as he told him it was fine.

Fine just meant he was fine being by himself; that he needed to be, even, for just a moment. Fresh air and exercise were supposed to help, but judging by the way Dan stayed in his room for another hour, maybe today just wasn’t going to be fixed that easily.

After that hour, Phil hadn’t made nearly as much progress as he would’ve liked. He kept his ears piqued for any sound coming from downstairs, ready to leap up at the smallest thing. He thought about putting on headphones to get in the zone, but then he wouldn’t hear Dan if he so chose to appear.

“He’s fine,” Phil muttered to himself. “He’d tell me if he weren’t.”

Because there was a difference, Phil had learned, between being _fine_ and being _okay_. Going off the impromptu walk and isolation, today was a not-okay day. But so long as he was fine, they would just sit and wait for it to pass.

Another fifteen minutes went by, and Phil kicked back the desk chair as he got up. This wasn’t working. He’d get back to it later.

He’d only just found something to watch on TV when he heard the door open, followed by footsteps getting closer.

Dan sat down on the sofa without a word. He looked straight ahead at the television, pulling his legs up to get comfortable. Phil wasn’t going to mention his red and puffy eyes, or the stains on the sleeves he pulled over his hands.

“You want to watch something else?” Phil asked, already reaching for the remote.

“No, this is fine,” Dan said. He scooted down a bit, rested his head against the pillows.

The show ended and neither had said anything. Before the next episode started, Dan broke the silence.

“Weren’t you filming a video today?” he asked, turning his head to look at Phil.

“Oh, yeah. I did it while you were out.”

“Are you editing it yet?”

“I started.” Phil realised he might even have to go back through what little he’d done already because his thoughts had been elsewhere the whole time.

Dan fidgeted with the hem of his jumper. “Want some help?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Phil said, smiling. He was beyond happy to see a smile appear on Dan’s face as well. “Is now good?” he asked, nodding his head in the direction of their computer.

“Sure.”

Phil got up first, then helped Dan to his feet after he held out his hands like a child asking to be picked up.

Sat next to each other, everything still open on the computer, Phil went back to the beginning of the video and let the footage play. He felt comforted whenever he caught a chuckle coming from Dan as they watched him on screen stumble over his words or poke himself in the eye.

Once they got about halfway through, Phil went to get them both a glass of Ribena. Upon return, he caught Dan wiping at his eyes, turning his head away to hide the fresh tears.

Phil squeezed his shoulder as he handed him his drink.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, no. This” – Dan pointed his chin at the computer and half-edited video – “This is good. Thanks.”

“Just one of those days?”

He nodded. “It’ll pass. It always does.”


End file.
